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Showing posts from October, 2015

I Blame All My Problems On Change

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I'm sad.

Or, more accurately, I probably have SAD (seasonal affective disorder). This kind of thing is genetic, no? My dad has figured out that he's happier in the winter if he wears one of these stylish visors 30 minutes a day that shines magical spring and summer light into his eyes.

This is my dad getting un-SAD:

I'm not sure whether or not I have SAD, because I'm fine in the winter. It's just the fall that gets me, something about the weather turning colder and the trees losing their leaves. Maybe I'm allergic to change. I grew up in San Francisco where there are no seasons, where it's just one uni-season of cold, bleak fog. Not having seasons teaches you that happiness is forever and nothing ever changes, which is a lie.

But here in Japan, summer is hot and muggy, and fall is cold and breathtakingly beautiful. It's an extreme change. The leaves are bright red and the sky has this chilly, pink light in the evening. It's beautiful, but my subcons…

How You Spend Your Time Is How You Live Your Life

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I haven’t updated in a while because I have been completely bogged down with work— specifically, in addition to my regular Japanese classes I’m taking a class on reading newspapers in Japanese, which is difficult even for Japanese people who you know, read and speak the language. Last week I read a newspaper article on collective self-defense and Japan’s new security bill… in Japanese. It took me about eight hours to get through. It was rough. 
I shouldn’t complain though. I mean, complaining is the easy thing to do, but when I peel back the layers of my complaining, I see that underneath is just fear and pride: fear that I will not be able to understand, and pride in myself for working hard and trying to do something really difficult. When I tried complaining to my teacher about this he said, “You signed up for the class though, right? It was your decision…” And it’s true. I’m enrolled in this program to learn Japanese, and particularly to learn how to read Japanese. Why am I surprise…